Trolling Toads are of the family Buffoonidae and are members of the order Annoya. They are considered to be the most widespread annoyans in the free-speech spaces that exist online, i.e. in the webosphere. The sole, sad raison d’être of these toads is to elicit negative emotional reactions from other well-meaning creatures in the environment thereby derailing meaningful discourse and creating an atmosphere of hopelessness.
Trolling Toads are widespread and have been observed in the wild on every internet continent with the notable exceptions of the regions Intelligia, Logica, and Consideratis. They inhabit a variety of natural environments, ranging from blogs to forums. Most toads lay low by seeding the comment areas of other internet content. On particularly dangerous genus, Journaloridicula, is an exception to this rule and members of this genus may actually develop their own content in order to provoke action from members of the community, or to confuse the public-at-large.
Trolling Toads are trooth-less [sic] and very warty in appearance. They have a pair of parrot-oid glands in their heads that excrete toxic ideas derived from hearsay in the environment. Buffoontoxin is the general term. If the toxin gets into another creature, it reacts violently and its soul is instantly withered, allowing the toad to feed off of the negative energy and activate secondary reproductive organs. Male toads possess a Bidder’s opinion. Under the right mailing list or forum conditions, the opinion may become an active topic and the toad, in effect, becomes a flamemonger.
Mating & Reproduction
Trolling Toads are known to emit a loud and distinctive reddit noise (pronounced: ribbit) in an apparent display of auditory juvenile bravado. Current theory indicates that this might be an attempt to attract suitable mates. However, there have been no correlated observations of mate-attraction using this tactic. In fact, recent field observations suggest that the opposite is likely true, and as a result Trolling Toads are currently unable to reliably reproduce and there populations are in steady decline.
If a Trolling Toad is encountered in the wild, it is advised that they be asked their name. That is generally enough action to completely shut down the parrot-oid glands. Toads are unable to cope with accountability. If Buffoontoxin is observed in an environment (usually accompanied by a putrid smell resembling decomposing marine life) the best action is to simply allow it to naturally and quickly evaporate by ignoring the excretion or by deleting it outright, without explanation.
The family Buffoonidae contains an indefinite number of genera and species, some of which have yet to be discovered.
|Genus Latin Name||Common Name||Number of Species|
- Troll (Internet) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Troll_%28Internet%29
- True Toad – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/True_toad